Most of us would agree: to get what you want out of life, you have to ask for it. You have to hurl your wishes and intentions into the universe and state exactly what you need – for yourself, never mind anyone else. This not only helps you affirm your goals and start to envisage an action plan, but gives you another opportunity to really hear what you’re asking for, to reassess and sift: To truly listen to yourself.
Dreams change. Priorities and goalposts change constantly. So, the listening never stops.
Of course, hints and cues to wake up and smell the coffee emerge in many different forms. There’s listening and there’s listening. On every sensory level. Even before you’ve consciously determined what you want, you’re continuously involved in conversations, situations and environments that coax these intentions to the surface, until you’re finally aware of them.
But what if you could accelerate that process?
What if you could sharpen your awareness in order to notice more of what you need and quicker? For one thing, we would spend a lot less time dealing with the consequences of “tolerating” situations that are no longer beneficial to our personal growth path. If our heart isn’t in something, we all know how emotionally draining it can be to wade against the tide, how much energy we might put into resenting.
There are subtle and not so subtle messages all over the place, everywhere you turn. From concrete posters of job and further training ads to timely conversations happening at nearby café tables: people swapping tips, giving each other advice, sharing information, friends, family and colleagues talking about their own current needs and experiences, that after-work fitness group in the park you pass longingly.
So, what if we listened more?
All too often we stick to what we told ourselves was the plan. It makes for a comfortable story, makes us look clear and decisive when talking to other people, even if it doesn’t quite sit right inside. But how much of that story still holds true for us? And how closely do we listen to what comes out of our mouths when socialising? Just imagine how much more we could change if we caught those little untruths!
But there’s more. Stepping back and actively listening to other people’s stories also has an intense and profound effect on our perception – not only of the event itself being recounted but of parallel memories, experiences and feelings within us that have been stirred. We might feel inspired. We might feel triggered. We may suddenly find ourselves remembering forgotten or suppressed intentions.
In short, listening to others enables us to listen more closely to ourselves.
We are more likely to notice what’s missing from our lives, as well as the elements we’d like to eliminate. When others talk about their experiences, we may well notice feelings of yearning, approval and admiration, maybe jealousy, fear, disapproval or doubts that we can then address in closer detail and turn to our advantage. Because our bodies tell us everything we need to hear. If we choose to listen.
After all, nobody else can do it for us.
Get in touch with me at Freeflow Coaching and start learning how to listen yourself.