How often have our New Year’s resolutions done a spectacular flop barely weeks down the road? When it comes to making sustainable changes, forget judgemental January with its euphoric good intentions and overly high expectations that all too often go up in smoke. Quietly confident February is the time to set yourself free!
I’ve always found January the time to look inwards: It’s dark outside. The refreshing gust of the new year lends itself better to inspired reflection, gaining new insights and reprioritising personal needs and structures. Take your foot off the gas. Allow yourself time to consciously sift and choose, and save the go-to action for February.
Real change can only happen when our conscious minds actively kick into gear. But the fact is, it only takes the tiniest of mindful adjustments to shift away from automated behaviour. We just have to be aware of what we want to change, be committed and take the time to internalise before really living that change.
And sure, being patient doesn’t always come naturally when it comes to self-development. We want to transform now! But implementing our stunningly ambitious New Year’s resolutions and seeing them to fruition ultimately has precious little to do with euphoria. The secret is trusting the journey more than the destination.
But free from what?
February has become my free-from month over the past few years. And I don’t necessarily mean foodstuffs. Fasting has included anything from packaging to routine places I go to or activities I take part in purely „out of habit”. Daily life becomes so easily automated and unconscious. Our initial sense of purpose can vanish or blur into ingrained patterns if we stop paying attention to what we need right now in the present.
The good news is: It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s ok to take a step back, to give ourselves the space to identify what exactly our current needs are, not to mention the chance to consciously choose again; to replace aspects of our behaviour we could do without – from a present perspective – and not be steered by the deceptive comfort of familiarity. After all, there’s nothing comfortable about being held back by a fear of change. Life coaching is one way of confronting some of our stubborn little habits.
Can patterns be beneficial though?
To be clear, this is not an attack on structure or routine. The right routines are definitely beneficial to us. They keep us on track and help us focus among the juggle of everyday distractions. However, we do need to review them regularly by asking ourselves whether anything has changed: whether something is missing, ineffective or energy-sucking. Often, even the smallest of tweaks can be enough to crank up energy levels, motivation and productivity – like someone has set you free.
If you have an addictive personality, for example, rituals can be very easy to acquire and teasingly hard to break once they‘re associated with pleasure or highs of any kind. Some of mine have been really healthy, beneficial ones like table tennis, swimming and dance or going for long walks on a daily basis. Then there are cafés I like to go to at certain times of the day to write, read or socialise. There’s drawing and painting, coffee and…
and, and, and… The list goes on.
Reflect & readjust
As last year drew to a close, I felt another sugar-free February coming on. Not that I have a particularly sweet tooth. But it’s not about that. It’s about challenging automatic behaviours and turning them into choices. And curiously, changing just one detail seems to have a knock-on effect on choosing in general. Because we always have a choice, even if we choose not to choose.
So, I’m really curious where this one’s going to go. Free-from February is in no way about living ascetically, banning ourselves from stuff we enjoy on a permanent basis: It’s just about not taking everything we do for granted, standing back and giving ourselves the chance to choose and change again – in various areas of our lives.
Nobody needs to be ruled by their behaviour. We can always live freer.
Get in touch with Freeflow Coaching and set yourself free.
