Has fear ever prevented you from getting to where you want to be?
Do you have a strategy for facing it head-on?
Stopping it from controlling your choices?
Fear sometimes catches us when we’re least expecting it. Just when we think we dismantled one hurdle from the past and finally know exactly what we’re doing, the next comes along and knocks us off kilter! And it feels so very personal.
It feels like our life is in danger. And while sometimes that’s true: we are physically at risk. Often, it’s an extreme feeling of being challenged to the point of excess, so that we’re completely overwhelmed by the unfamiliar course of action we need to take.
It can feel embarrassing, being scared. A blow to our confidence, how we see ourselves and how we want to be seen by others – particularly when it is linked to our position within the community, maybe our professional role and need for respect.
That fear can be tied to very real financial concerns and impact on those dependent on us too. Every business owner and freelancer knows what it means to encounter existential challenges and tough decisions from time to time. It’s immensely stressful!
Leaving the comfort zone
So, how do you deal with daunting situations? Are you able to take a step back and sift the options? Do you dive in head first? Or do you hit flight mode and try to avoid the source fear? The question is: what changes when you stay and confront it?
Swimming has provided a curious thread in my family, particularly when it comes to fear, growth and courage. I learnt to swim in waters way out of my depth. Stranger still, I was taught to swim by my mother who at the time couldn’t swim herself, lol!
Five minutes after ripping off those hindering armbands, my inflated ego took me down to the beach alone, convinced that I could take on the mighty sea with limited skills and experience. It was a cocky, dangerous decision.
Needless to say the current was far too strong for my basic doggy paddle and I soon found myself being sloshed up against the breakers, rescued by lifeguards before I knew what was happening.
But it also proved to be reflective of my approach to life and new ventures. I literally jump straight in. Sometimes I’ve come up against rocks. But often it’s been the key to exploring unknown territory beyond my comfort zone.
And I wouldn’t change that. Some kinds of safety are too safe. You have to dare and open yourself up to the unexpected in order to grow to your full potential. Though unlike my first swimming challenge, you understand the need to upskill!
How do you stretch your boundaries?
Instead of allowing ourselves to get sucked down by fear and doubt when faced with a challenging situation, look at what changes in terms of attitude and perspective when we focus on how we tackle the issue, and what we need to do to overcome it.
My mother’s swimming journey was a completely different, but incredibly brave one. Like many adult non-swimmers, she’d had a frightening experience as a child getting caught in cross currents off the coast of Cornwall. Enough to put you off for life.
Despite being the daughter of a competitive swimmer, who could manage Channel distances with ease, my mother lost the confidence to learn. And here’s the happy ending bit… Until my dad shared his love of the sport with her and broke the spell.
She learnt to swim aged 43 and now it’s hard to get her out the water!
So, what are you looking to achieve over the coming year? If fear or apprehension is stopping you from realising your own personal goals, get in touch with me at Freeflow Coaching and let’s dismantle those barriers together.