All emotions are valid.
Even the negative ones!
There’s no right or wrong.
You aren’t to blame for what you feel.
No reason to judge or compare with others.
We might know this in theory but actually accepting this and putting it into practice is another matter entirely! Particularly if we’re going through a rough or rocky patch. But it’s precisely the time we most need to take notice of any negative emotions!
Let’s look at it another way: You’re feeling what you’re feeling because it’s real. And simply put, by acknowledging what you’re feeling, YOU are being real. You are being honest with yourself, which in turn enables you to be open and honest with others.
Your emotions tell you when you’re in the wrong kind of job or work environment, when you’re trapped in an unhealthy relationship, when you need to acknowledge circumstances that are out of your control, such as the death of loved ones.
The only thing you need to do is notice and acknowledge them. Nothing more. Nobody’s going to call you emotional! And so what if they do! By noticing how you feel inside, you’re showing emotional intelligence that enables you to process the issue quicker.
People often confuse emotional honesty with being emotional. Soft, fluffy stuff! But they couldn’t be more wrong! The fact is: noticing your emotions means YOU are in control; that your behaviour is not being steered by how you feel, even if you can’t control the cause.
It means YOU choose to recognise what’s going on inside, which consequently gives you options on how to proceed. Understanding exactly what you’re feeling and why logically helps you realise what it is you need to lift your mood and move forward.
So, how can you train yourself to become more emotionally savvy?
The best way is always to start with what you have in front of you. Start by listening to what your body is telling you in the here and now. About how you’re living. It will let you know pretty clearly about any core elements you need to change!
Start to become aware of whether you’re sleeping enough, eating healthily, getting the right amount and type of movement, enough YOU-time to recharge. Notice whether you’re working too much, happy in your line of work or studies.
Really notice whether you have the right kinds of people around you – who bring out the best in you. Do they share your values and encourage your growth? Be honest with yourself and you’ll become very aware of what and who fuels or drains you!
It’s only natural to want to push negative emotions away, to ignore them and pretend they don’t exist in the hope they’ll disappear. But the reality is: only by acknowledging that they exist, will they start to dissolve.
If aspects of your life are getting you down at the moment, get in touch with me at Freeflow Coaching and let’s face those feelings head-on – together.
