Embarrassed that you messed up, made a bad judgement call, took the path of most resistance? Maybe you got ripped off, opened your mouth without thinking. You let others down, who were relying on you, expecting great things. And of course, you let yourself down. You were wrong. But hey, you’ll get over it. You will. As will they.
Because it’s always ok to be wrong. If it wasn’t, we’d never learn and develop. And whoever tells us otherwise couldn’t be more in the wrong! Although that’s ok too, lol. It’s about having the openness to accept there might well be a better way of doing things that will get us to where we “do” want to be.
Nobody likes to be wrong. It triggers us, rips open our deepest wounds and insecurities with little or no warning. Nothing compares to that feeling of having made a mistake, failing, and worse still, falling short of others’ expectations, like you’re six years old again. Nobody likes it, but it’s the best signal for change.
Even if you don’t have a solution initially, just sit with it. You’ll notice what’s not working. You’ll ask yourself questions and revisit the dilemma from different angles: “what” and “how” it could work better. You’ll walk with it in limbo: cook, eat, shower, sleep and dream it. You’ll talk about it and observe your own reaction.
But you don’t need to have the answer yesterday. There’s no rush to be right. Some errors are easier to correct than others. Some might go a lot deeper, require a change of mindset or belief systems you hadn’t clocked. But it’s always ok to just “be” with that uncomfortable feeling of incorrectness, disappointment or failure.
Take the time. Listen to which emotions surface. Your answer may well lie there.
And even if it doesn’t, those sensations in your body are telling you something much more important than the actual thing you mucked up! For one thing, there’s an ocean of difference between noting we’ve “done” something wrong and seeing ourselves as “being” wrong, and personally identifying with the error.
Making a mistake doesn’t make us faulty goods! One little distraction by your kid or cat and too late! You’re in an off-kilter state of mind during home-office time. You’ve barked at your boss, ignored your team’s needs. You’ve accidentally pressed purchase and those four-size-too-big boots are now on the way to you.
But it’s not the end of the world.
So, what do you do when you want to fix or change something but simply can’t see the light? For me, it’s typically connected to some IT or social media-related topic that I’ve tried to ignore in the hope it will go away and no longer be relevant. But instead, it escalates into an obstacle to greater goals. So, what do you do?
Well, for a start, there’s always someone who knows more about something. Learning to admit to lacking competence or error, being open to other people’s wisdom and knowledge and asking for help is basically saying “I might not have got it right this time, but I’m willing to learn so that I do next time.” And that’s a win.
Error is the greatest proof that we’re on a neverending growth journey. The trick is to get curious about it!
Does the pressure of expectation block you from addressing error and change? Get in touch with me at Freeflow Coaching and discover how you could reset those limiting beliefs.